|
Only Lamby-Pie was Worthy
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 26th, 2012|07:57 pm] |
i am love,
nice to meet you |
|
|
| this is what binge eating disorder looks like. |
[May. 26th, 2012|11:35 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fed gadget | ] |
[i am trying to figure out which entries i should privatize and which i should leave viewable to anyone. people who don't know me read the political posts i put up here, and also now there's that recipe post. but i like leaving everything open, i think. for now my journal will just be a mess of unrelated things that someone who doesn't know me may come to see and feel weird about. sorry!]
yesterday was an awesome day. i woke up at 6am, like i favor, and i had a great superfood breakfast that kept me full until lunchtime. i went to an OA meeting, worked on zines and letters for five hours, went to my first band practice [so stoked! we are fucking awesome so far!], i ate dinner at the home i park my home in the driveway of and got to briefly catch up with some friends there, and i made almond milk for later and checked in on these cookies i was dehydrating from the last time i made nutmilk, from the pulp. i didn't eat any of them but i just checked to see if they were mushy still. i noticed that someone had baked cinnamon rolls and i knew they would be without question xvx so i set my rawfoodself aside and ate a small piece of one. dinner [raw lasagna!] filled me up but i was set on eating the rest of that cinnamon roll. then i ate a cacao covered strawberry i'd made a few days ago [the only relic survived from my AB cup & co. experiment.] and then i ate half of another cinnamon roll. then i went back to zineland.
when i was getting some craft things out of big d, i found the title to my van, which i had been unable to find over the past few days, and registration is coming up, and i was pretty stressed out about this, so finding the title was a huge weight lifted. when i got back to the bong hall i ate somewhere between 9 and 13 granola bars that were there from the student trash. none of them were vegan, sugar free or raw.
i don't think this was an emotional eating binge. nothing bad happened yesterday. i felt so good all day, and productive. i was doing lots of things i love to do, working on projects i am excited about, and not feeling like i was cramming it in there or overextending like i sometimes do. i felt motivated and stoked.
i think i am just triggered to overeat by sugar, and i'm tempted to eat any sugary thing i can get my hands on. one is too many, a thousand is not enough. wheat is probably a trigger too.
now i have a sore throat, yeast infection, stomach ache, and earth shattering gas. oh cool it was totally worth it. ugh. it's so easy for me to forget that the things i put into my body affect the way i feel. there is a distinct disconnect that i don't know if i can put behind me, i have tried so hard. |
|
|
| Dispatches from the Desperate |
[May. 25th, 2012|04:41 am] |
|
So how do I describe tonight? This Baudelaire poem drunkenly growled after hours, back stage and behind the scenes. Swept fiercely under a rowdy enchantment. Lost in a riot of masks. Seven pipes deep amongst the thieves, the actors and magicians. Whiskey mesmerized by the bold traveler's tales spilled with a laugh from lips that tattoo kisses across my wishes. The pipe lit up defiantly as we march...ed loudly down Little Five - invincible, invisible, holy in our abandonment. Seizing bars, clubs, concerts, cafes, situations, wild ideas that never stood a chance outside the theatre fever of our collective conjecture. Burning quietly here in the march of the shadow parade, drift-dancing chance to chance across the naked possibilities and laughing as far as the night will take us. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2012|04:31 pm] |
Hi all,
I've posted here recently about considering going by a more gender neutral name that can be read either way, and I've slowly started telling close friends and understanding family members about it, which has been helpful and I'm feeling mostly good about this decision. I feel like I already know the answer to these questions, but I wanted to ask them anyway even just to get some validation/support.
1) After you started going by a different name, did it take a while to get used to it, or were you sad about letting go of your birth name?
( more )
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2012|05:38 pm] |
remember kids: choosing the wrong cult can ruin your life. so choose wisely.
things are a swimmin; i do not want for anything; it isn't always this way
one month until i hang
bootlicker |
|
|
| raw sugar-free [agave-free!] almond butter cups. |
[May. 24th, 2012|09:15 am] |
here i will pretend i write a "health food" recipe blog. too bad i don't have photos:
i have been raw on and off for about two months, having some good stretches but often succumbing to stuff that's not raw. whatever. but i think the lord jesus christ meant for me to be raw because i have, never in my whole life, gotten a baking recipe correct. the things i've made have been runny, grainy, rock-hard, burnt, etc. i am terrible at baking... cooking, too, but i could bear to eat crunchy, yet burned, greens for the most part. with baking, sometimes i would follow the recipe completely and something would go awry, but usually the problem was that i am not supposed to be eating sugar. what asshole thought to put sugar in every goddamn sweet treat on earth? i would replace it with agave or maple or brown rice syrup, but then it'd be a different consistency that i could never shape up. and then i realized that these things too are actually sugar and give me candida and stomach aches.
so now that i'm raw, i thought i would make a raw almond butter cup. i've had very good ones that had agave in them, but surely i would be able to find an agave-free recipe online, right? ugh, nope. i googled "sugar free raw almond butter cup" and lots of links showed up, because apparently, folks like to claim agave-rich recipes as sugar-free ones. they are not. and the ones without agave as the sweetener use maple syrup [not raw] or raw honey [not vegan.] so i decided to experiment a little bit on my own, which is something that's always proved a waste of money, a stomach ache and a headache.
and i got that shit on the first try.
i didn't measure anything. sorry.
ingredients:
-raw coconut oil
-raw carob powder [this proved to be key and was a mistake. one day at the store, i meant to get cacao powder, but accidentally got carob! which tastes much better on its own.]
-raw almond butter
-sea salt
-vanilla extract [i used alcohol-free]
-maca powder
...but i think only the top three are mandatory.
1. double boil the coconut oil. some people have devices made for double boiling, but if you don't, here's what i did:
fill a pot with water and put it on the stove. put some coconut oil in a glass jar or bowl in the water. you don't actually have to wait for the water in the pot to boil because coconut oil has a low melting temperature. just leave it in there until it is all liquid.
2. add carob powder to the coconut oil! mix it in and make sure there are no pockets of carob powder. just add as much as you need to for the mixture to be kind of syrupy, but still more runny than the chocolate syrups we are probably used to seeing. you can taste it to see if it's too coconut oily or too caroby, too.
3. add a pinch of sea salt, maca, vanilla extract... or anything else you want or need. i thought about putting stevia in these but i really don't think they need a sweetener.
4. pour the carob goo into baking/cupcake cups, filling up the bottom only. in other raw almond butter cup recipes, one is instructed to make sure they get the chocolate on the sides of the cup, too, so it's neater and no AB peaks through. this mixture will be too runny for that, so you'll just have to deal with a non-professional looking cup.
5. put the baking cups with carob goo in the freezer for about 5-10 minutes, while you prepare or re-melt and stir more of the same mixture.
6. take the cups outta the freezer, put some almond butter on top of the frozen carob goo, and cover the almond butter up with some un-frozen carob goo.
7. put 'em in the freezer again. eat later.
like all raw AB cups, they melt quickly, so i like just leaving mine in the freezer and eating 'em out of the there. i have sensitive teeth but none of these materials are solid enough to hurt them.
i also have added things like goji berries and coconut shavings.
woo! |
|
|
| Пустота. |
[May. 23rd, 2012|11:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Foto - Grafik | ] |
 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2012|06:05 pm] |
Adobe Illustrator, 590 x 330 mm.
Принты можно купить на  Etsy, или обратившись ко мне.
|
|
|
| Элементарно, Артур! |
[May. 23rd, 2012|11:59 am] |
22 мая 1859 родился великий писатель Артур Конан Дойл.Писатель, который так хотел показать миру своё настоящее лицо и избавиться от своей столь известной тени |
|
|
| oh my dear self love. |
[May. 22nd, 2012|05:58 pm] |
i know it is not my fault that i was unintentionally [yet undeniably irresponsibly] dosed with a weed brownie, but i can't help but believe this is the harsh lesson i have been asking for to help me stop poisoning myself with lesser foodpoisons.
other than that, black butte was hella hella dank. and riding trains, you know it. |
|
|
| troublemaker |
[May. 22nd, 2012|03:52 pm] |
Let's learn to pick locks and become expert lockpickers, I tell her. We'll be like spies without having to be told what to do and where to go. She had put lock picks on her wish list for christmas, but her father had nixed it. They are illegal, he said, and it'll ruin your reputation. I think our reputations are already ruined, both of us had gotten arrested before and put on probation- though we also successfully got put off probation as well. I can open locks with up to four tumblers with a paper clip, I tell her, and it takes less than 30 seconds. That is good time, she says with a smile, but I admit that it is loud. It takes her longer. We figure out that part of the problem is bending the paper clip into the optimal shape. We'll have to get proper picks to get better.
Her sister gets suspicious of me sometimes, thinking I'm a bad influence. She's my sister, she told me not just once, my kid sister- remember that. Whenever she gives us a questioning glance with an upturned eyebrow, we both smile at her the exact same way. She means to ask if something is going on, but gives up on it, since she recognizes the expression. We are scheming and up to something, we are making ourselves capable of more mischief. |
|
|
| Scrotoplasty without Vaginectomy? |
[May. 21st, 2012|03:53 pm] |
Hi everyone,
I have a trans male friend who's uncertain whether it's even an option to get a scrotoplasty without a vaginectomy. I said I'd ask on here for him to see if anyone has any experience/advice on whether this is possible/who to ask.
(crossposted to tguk) |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
lilybutterland's Friends Page
cheerful
